Forgive and forget…. Is easier said than done…. Friends tried to help me recover by taking me out more often than usual…. They would also constantly introduce me with other guys,, as they say… to forget a lost love is to find a new one….
I became more visible in social gatherings.. meeting up new peers and trying out new things…I did try to go out with other guys but I guess I was really old school when it comes to relationship…. I was not at ease going out with somebody else on a date knowing that I was already married (separated at least, huh!)… That thought prompted me to stop making myself believed that I would actually move on by finding someone else…
I then realized that I had to start with myself first if I wanted to move on… I had to love myself more and find happiness within me and not from anybody else… and ofcourse there was daughter to take care of….
From there.. daughter and I spent our days and months and years just loving and caring for each other… Husband never made any effort in communicating with daughter, not even on the most important days of her life…. Birthdays… Christmas…. New Year…. School activities…. He made sure that his absence was felt….
In 2008, I figured that I was already ok and that I have moved on and ready to communicate with husband… I had to put a closure to our animosity and was hoping to have a civil relationship if not friendship with him…. It was on his birthday (February 2008) that I made effort in communicating with him… I said “Happy birthday”… As expected my number was not in his phonebook… so he answered “Thank you but who is this?..... I went like “This is Joy…”, he goes “oh! Thank you”…. Then I said “you know it has been years since, can we let the past be bygones and maybe we could be friends again for the sake of daughter…..” it was a moment before he answered and it goes “Sure, no probs!.....” that’s it and then nothing….. OMG! After my winning speech of “the past and bygones” all he could ever think of to say is “sure, no probs! Huh!
That's it i give up! … why did I ever expect that somehow after all the years that has passed he would eventually changed and somehow feel the need to be a father to daughter….
He was still the same guy I married… well, I guess people doesn’t change over the years….
Time does heal all wounds but it cannot change attitude….
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