Confrontation

After sometime when there were no more tears to shed, feelings has gone numb.
I never thought it would come to that stage when I had to face her....
there she was standing at the railings of a restaurant, a place where we agreed to meet..........
i walked towards her and there we just stared at each other unable to utter any word....
finally, we sat down,

"WHY?" those were the only words that i was able to say.....

she started crying and reached for my hand... and said "SORRY"....

she was the same girl i used to call sister, those expressive eyes, who would have thought that underneath that sweet smile and innocent face lies a t-r-a-t-o-r , a home-wrecker.... what other degrading description can i possibly say to describe her....

the woman who broke my heart...
the woman who wrecked my home.....
the woman who've hurt my entire family.....
and the woman who left my (then 1 year old) daughter, fatherless....

Is saying "SORRY" ever enough.....

memories of years ago

It was August 23, I was cleaning her up and getting ready for bed after a very busy day with her playmates , it's her 9th birthday, when she started asking questions. We would always have those mom & daughter pep talks... when she asks I would spontaneously reply... she started with the usuals.... then i would answer asusual... then she began...... "Mom, does some Dad's don't like children?" .... without thinking I answered... "Ofcourse not! all Dad's love their children!...... then she replied.... " But not MY DAD!"..... I was taken aback , got my tongue tied and froze..... I had to pause for a while to held back the tears that treatens to roll down....She was beginning to understand, not seeing her father, not even phone calls, so I needed to tell her something... So I held her hand and hugged my dear daughter.... I said... "Ofcourse not baby, Dad loves you so much, maybe he's just busy with his life now... " and then I smiled and asked her, "Are you not happy?".... She smiled back, "Ofcourse I'm happy mom with you and inang(grandma) and tatang(grandpa)... But there was something in her eyes.... pain.....



It was 7 years and 6 months ago.... I was in the office as usual, my husband was in Cebu trying his luck... in two months time we're going to leave the city life and join him in the province.. it was what he wanted and I had to submit... the phone rang... it was my darling... it was all so vague, the only clear words that I heard were "I'm leaving you" ..... and then later on I had learned that he was seeing this girl ... a girl I know so well, she was a friend, and even a sister at one point in our lives, she's my daughters' God-mother.....



The pain was more intense because of the betrayal... there was no word to describe how I felt that moment.... it was pure grief, hatred and pain....



That was 7 years and 6 months ago.... but it's like only yesterday.....