It was August 23, I was cleaning her up and getting ready for bed after a very busy day with her playmates , it's her 9th birthday, when she started asking questions. We would always have those mom & daughter pep talks... when she asks I would spontaneously reply... she started with the usuals.... then i would answer asusual... then she began...... "Mom, does some Dad's don't like children?" .... without thinking I answered... "Ofcourse not! all Dad's love their children!...... then she replied.... " But not MY DAD!"..... I was taken aback , got my tongue tied and froze..... I had to pause for a while to held back the tears that treatens to roll down....She was beginning to understand, not seeing her father, not even phone calls, so I needed to tell her something... So I held her hand and hugged my dear daughter.... I said... "Ofcourse not baby, Dad loves you so much, maybe he's just busy with his life now... " and then I smiled and asked her, "Are you not happy?".... She smiled back, "Ofcourse I'm happy mom with you and inang(grandma) and tatang(grandpa)... But there was something in her eyes.... pain.....
It was 7 years and 6 months ago.... I was in the office as usual, my husband was in Cebu trying his luck... in two months time we're going to leave the city life and join him in the province.. it was what he wanted and I had to submit... the phone rang... it was my darling... it was all so vague, the only clear words that I heard were "I'm leaving you" ..... and then later on I had learned that he was seeing this girl ... a girl I know so well, she was a friend, and even a sister at one point in our lives, she's my daughters' God-mother.....
The pain was more intense because of the betrayal... there was no word to describe how I felt that moment.... it was pure grief, hatred and pain....
That was 7 years and 6 months ago.... but it's like only yesterday.....
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It's really painful knowing that you are married with one child and he still manage to leave you. I'm kinda surprise that he doesn't even have the balls to talk to you in person to tell those sensitive things. Well, I admire you for staying strong and for coping up still with everything despite of what had happen years ago. Just keep your composure and let God be the one to act on your behalf to those people who sinned against us..
ReplyDeleteam sorry to hear such a sad story. i will never know how painful it is, but i feel sad for u.
ReplyDeleteu have a very bright child...